Monthly Archives: April 2010

Banging big cats, shrinkage and emo philosophy: Thursday’s Three Things

This column is for those on the brink. I’m talking about the people looking for either just one more reason to live, one more reason to kill or that one last reason to die. Let me recommend the straw to … Continue reading

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Shitty situational tips for: relationships

Life offers us many options to choose from in order to accomplish stuff. Here’s some tips for deciding which options are good and which ones are really stupid. Most of these things I’ve tried out myself. I’ll try anything once. … Continue reading

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The insolent fools won’t listen to Kiper.

Kiper: Oh, God! God, why? Why? Why hast thou forsaken me? Why is it that no one sees that Jimmy Clausen is going to be a great NFL quarterback? I HAD HIM AS THE 4TH BEST PLAYER IN THE ENTIRE … Continue reading

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The inaugural Thursday’s 3 Things: the undead, crackhead hobos and Republicans

This column is for those on the brink. I’m talking about the people looking for either just one more reason to live, one more reason to kill or that one last reason to die. Let me recommend the straw to … Continue reading

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Stupid rats ruin everything

I have a habit that some may consider to be a “bad habit.” I love eating Spaghetti-Os w/ Meatballs cold and straight out of the can. “Why not?” I says. “The sauce stays nice and thick and I only dirty … Continue reading

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A new holiday: Mike Woods finally admits his column is a waste of time

My hometown paper, The Appleton Post-Crescent is generally a pretty decent small/mid-sized town paper. I’ll never forget the day the final column on the College Ave bridge was blown up so that the bridge could be remade wider. Above the … Continue reading

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Your latest country-singing hobos: Rascal Flatts

Nooooooooooo! Rascal Flatts is homeless! America’s favorite crooners of non-descript dreck have been betrayed by…wait for it…Disney! I’m sure Disney is just going in another direction, on that makes a profit, like internet pornography. Look for the headline soon that … Continue reading

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